not things. That's a bad description. How do you learn to have a good attitude? Here, let me give you the situation.
There are six people in my USEM from Colorado. Just after Thanksgiving we thought it would be great fun to have everyone together for a Christmas party when we were all home. So we decided on the friday after classes ended--Friday the 15th. IE tonight. I offered to host, becuase I love having people over. I was going to get a pizza, we could watch movies, it was going to be great. Then, Hannah had the incredible idea of making it a Red Tie party! We were so excited, a chance to get dressed up, I decided on a formal dinner, movies, games, sweet! can life get better?
So I cook/clean for the entire day, plus the time it took to make the cheesecake last night. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like I slaved over this, because it was actually so much fun for me. I love cooking, I like cleaning with the music turned up really loud on the stereo. So it was great.
But then someone couldn't come. She had work--I totally emphathize with that. We've all had times when we can't get the night off to actually do something good. But then someone else canceled. 20 minutes before the party was supposed to start.
So that is my question. I know that God blesses us, even when we feel forgotten or marginalized by people. I know that he will bless my time, my money, my efforts, my excitement to entertain and feed people. But I still feel so hurt. I feel angry. Is that wrong? I shouldn't feel angry. This perosn had out of town guests. They had to stay at home per parental request. It wasn't their fault. But still, it wasn't like I gave them late notice, it wasn't like they hadn't known about this. I am upset, and then I'm angry that I'm upset. Because God values what I did, and he will bless that, so why am I upset?
this is me processing in writing. because, that is waht I do. So really, you can ignore most of this. I just needed to get it out. Sometimes having it on paper/screen helps it to make more sense.... though, it isn't really working out so well tonight.
About Me
- Sara without an H
- In my Father's house are many dwelling places, if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and recieve you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.
4 comments:
i do understand how u feel..and the way to cope u..its fantastic..
I had a similar thing happen recently. And I have trouble not being cynical...and I also have trouble wanting to host again. :P Makes me always want to be a woman of my word...even when its hard.
the thing is, I love hosting. so that makes it worse. so much worse. Hospitatlity is one of my spiritual gifts. so it hurts extra bad when people ignore it, or disregard it. I think it's also part of my love language... though I'm not sure. It just feels like I've been rejected, like this person didn't see my time and my efforts to serve them as being worthy. if that makes any sense.
I wonder if it could be that because we are created by God in His image, that our desire to love and be loved runs deep deep deep into our being. And when things havppen that leave us feeling like we're not loved / appreciated / accepted / valued, then it sends us on a bit of a loop...
God's Love and Ours
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)
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