There's this girl I know

she lives on my floor.

she plays guitar and has a really great singing voice. We're recording a song on Lindsey's computer because she has garage band. (woot for macs) I am doing harmony and my friend is doing every thing else. It's amazing.I am sitting on Banana's bunk right now, listening to Lish play guitar, she is trying so hard, trying to be perfect. Lindsey just told her she played passionately. It's true. I don't even have to watch her rock back and forth, I don't have to see the look on her face. I can hear it in the way she picks and strumms. I can hear it in the squeaks as her fingers slide along the strings.

I wish I lived with passion like that. I didn't study for my final today. because I just didn't care. I didn't say I love you to so many people today. I didn't stay in Gwinn to talk with everyone. Because I feel so apathetic. Maybe I am just drained, from the quarter, from guys, from friends, from everything that God has shown me. I am so tired, so exhausted.

But that doesn't mean I should live without passion. I mean, if anything, I have learned so much, and I am so happy and so at peace and so in awe of God that this should drive me to live even more passionately, even more on fire (cliche) for God. But at the same time, I just want to rest. I just want to go to my favorite spot back home in Colorado, sit at the dead end and just stare out into the open plains and emptiness that goes all the way out to motsenbocker road.

I want to write, and not on my book, but just whatever I am feeling at the moment. I want to be alone. oh sweet loneliness.

But Alicia is starting to play again, and I want to watch her. Watch her even as she screws up and gets angry with her imperfections. Watch her head nod, rock back and forth. Watch her be emotional over one song and be so passionate.

"the point is, you can play like that. dang."