Ha

Me: aw, this McDonald's doesn't give as the other one... oh well, it's better for my hips.
My Dad: I know an even better kind of ece cream for your hips. It's called none.
My Mom: That one doesn't taste very good.

My mom and I

had a near fight the other day.

It was about Focus On the Family. You know, the place down in Colorado Springs, headed up by Dr. Dobson? Well, my mom agrees with most everything that old man says. And for the most part, I do too.

But I find myself pulling away, and wishing he would shut up. Does he stand up for good things? Yes. Do I wish he would sit down? Yes!

Sometimes, I feel that America looks at Dobson and sees the whole of Christianity. This bothers me, because I see Dobson and see all of politics. One of the top sections on his site, is titled "Life, Death, and Judicial Tyrany." It's an article, that I haven't read, but from the title and first few sentences is perfectly political.

Dobson is all hammer down, protect morals, drive out the infidel. Or at least, that is the way he comes across. I hate people like that. Mainly because, they are annoying and the epitome of why the world hates us. They do not hate us because of Jesus. They like him. They hate us. Because we scream truth from the rooftops, and we forget that there are people down on the ground who need love.

I don't want the world to see Dobson when they hear that I am a Christian. I want them to know, that I will love them no matter if they are gay or pro-choice, or whatever. Will I agree with those decisions? Well, obviously not. These are black and white issues for me. But those are not the things that I see the Christian life as revolving around. I see it revolving around love, grace, and mercy.

What an idea! I think that many of Christians today have become obsessed with the truth of God, and have laid his love to rest inside the church where it is conveniently forgotten throughout the week. But what is truth without love? People are not drawn to truth and morals, they are in fact frightened by it, because it is so far from our human capability. They run from it in shame.

But love! Love is such an amazing thing! Do you think it was simply because he was told to, that Christ died? No! It was because he loved us beyond all imagining. If we were to love the world with only a fraction of that, how could they resist?!

But instead, we are obsessed with morals and truth, with right and wrong. We seclude ourselves into a cocoon of holiness. A cocoon of religiousness. We are like Dobson, who talks and talks, and never gives out hugs to those who are frightened by their pregnancy, confused and overwhelmed. We do not love. We do not talk with, we talk at.

We have become the very thing that Jesus hated when he was here. We have become the pharisees, and teachers of the law.

Teachers of the law. Not love. Law.


Hyarcha,
Sara

I want to post on something meaningful,

but so few things in my life are very meaningful to others.

there is a certain person that I know. This person we will call, Bobby-Sue, (hah! so you don't know if it is a girl or boy!). Bobby-Sue and I have known each other a long time. We have had issues, but then, we all have issues with each other now and again.

Anyway. I think I have just come to realize that Bobby-Sue can not stand me. This is an incredible thing for me. I know, I am not always easy to deal with, because I am high spirited, and stubborn. But this is still such an amazing thought. This person hates me so much, they really can't stand to be in the same room as me for one moment.

But at the same time, they always act to my face as though we are friends. This is inconcievable!

I think this is the problem with Christianity today. We have become a very closed, two faced culture. As Christians. I mean, we go to church, put on the Jesus loves me face, but when we leave, we are not so sure of things. If we were sure, and we were completely committed, I don't think we would have so many issues in the church. We would love each other, becasue we would want to follow God's will so badly.

So I guess, I am saying that because of our half decision to follow Christ, we are very secreted and stupid in our faith. We are double sided. We can't be completely on fire for Christ--because we are afraid to give ourselves totally over to him.

I think that maybe Bobby-Sue and I struggle with this. I have only recently, handed my life back over to Christ (in totatlity.) Maybe Bobby-Sue hasn't. Because if he/she had, I think that Bobby Sue and I would get along. I mean, we don't fight. But we don't love each other. I try to love them, but it is difficult. I think that perhaps Bobby-Sue represents the great tragedy of the church today. We have forgotten what it is to be completely in the hands of God. And so we can not love each other as we should. Instead, we tell one another that we enjoy them to their face, when in reality, we can not stand the sight of them.

Does that make sense to anyone?


Dong iwoti,
Sara

So this is selfish and stupid,

but I am going to post it anyways. I was already quite homesick for Costa Rica. I have been for a long time. Things lately have made this desire in my heart grow. Fleshly things, like failed friendships, anger and frustration. I guess I should be thankful for that. Finally I know that this homesickness is not only in my spiritual walk, it is in my flesh. Which I think is good. I think that for the best, it is nice to have it in both places, so I am not torn between the two. I want to go back to Costa Rica more than anything. I can't describe to you the depth of that longing. It's tortorous sometimes. I don't know what to do. I have at least five years here and another six months or so in training before I can go be a full time missionary. Sometimes, I don't think I will make it. I am taking a class this summer, and 3 AP's next year, so that maybe I can graduate college in 3 years. That will make it a little easier to bear. I dont' know why I am telling you this. I suppose it is because I wanted to tell someone, but it is harder to say in person. People ask me if I am happy here, and I am really. It's just that I want so badly to be where I feel God is calling me. I know that is Costa Rica. I am begin to ramble, and I don't think you really care about all this. Ciao,
sara

Have you seen...

...Anger management? I hate that movie, but I watched it recently with a friend who really wanted to.

Anway, if you have seen it, you know the part where he goes to his first session and they ask him who he is? He starts saying his name, where he's from, what he does for a living, and the guy stops him and says- no that's what you do, I want to know who you are. So he starts again listing off some hobbies, what he likes to do in his spare time, and gets stopped again, 'no those are hobbies, I want to know who you are.' Finally he gets so frustrated with the question, and then they eventually move on, and he never actually answers the question.

So I was thinking about that today. What would I say? That I am a child of God? A saint in the process of being perfected? Single? Nice, but outspoken?

So, this is a weird question, because I am curious to know. What do you think you would answer for that question? What is the correct answer? What should I say?

Who am I? Who are you?

Hm

I had a very odd experience last night.

I told God I don't want a boyfriend. No, not that I am doing fine without one and that I am willing to wait for whoever he has in mind for me. Not that at all. I told him that I do not want a boyfriend.

And even more odd, I feel the same way today. So I don't think it was an accident.

Finally, I am feeling totally complete without a guy in my life. I am feeling quite content with life as it is, you know, just being friends with the guys and nothing more. Everything is fine. Like my eyes have been opened in this weird way, and I see the world around me. I mean, I saw it before, but now I see it with just me and God, and there is no empty space that needs to be filled. There isn't this shadow next to me, that is the outline of a man who isn't standing there.

Obviously, if I have an opportunity for a relationship I am not going to completely turn away from it. But it is really going to take a lot of prayer. I mean it already would have, but now, it would be even more so.

Photoshopped Or Not...

ever have one of those days? HAHA

GUESS WHAT?

I retook a spiritual gifts test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DON'T HAVE PROPHECY!!!! instead I have giving, hospitality, and missionary. WOO!

and still no idea what to talk about tomorrow at church...

HELP!

I have to talk in church tomorrow, and I have no idea what I should talk about! I need some ideas, FAST!

God Bless,
sara

For Nathan

Hey, how does this sound? Before I put it up on the discussion board for class. I talked with my dad and added a few things. If it's too long and boring, you don't have to finish it. But if you don't mind skimming it and letting me know that would be awesome! Thanks again for all your help!

For my real life application, I chose the number of hours of sleep each night to the number of effecient hours of energy the following day. I chose to use a linear function. The hours of sleep is placed on the x axis, as the domain. Hours of energy (effecient and quality energy) is on the y axis, the range. Generally speaking, as hours of sleep goes up, so does energy the following day. I approximated that 1 hour of sleep gives you about 2 hours of energy the next day. So my exation of the line is y=2x.

The domain of my function is [0, 10]
My range is [0, 20]

I think that my function predicts future events fairly well. It predicts that depending on how many hours of sleep I get Sunday night, how awake I will be in class on Monday. It predicts my amount of energy that will actually be useful.

There are several limitations to my function. It can not take into account different types of bodies and how each one functions differently on the same amount of sleep. It can not account for stimulants such as caffiene, sugar, adrenaline, or stress. It predicts values above 10 hours of sleep poorly. This is because, taking real life into consideration, I think that there are a few limitations. After about ten hours of sleep, I believe you hit a sort of wall. After ten hours, more sleep is not neccesarily going to give you more energy the following day. With the equation of y=2x, saying that you got 13 hours of sleep, you would (after waking up) have 26 hours of quality energy. I don't think that all of that awake time would be very quality, I've never met someone who can handle life well for a full 26 hours. In this manner, it does not always accurately reflect the entire domain, at least not beyond 10 hours of sleep.

Another function that would work for this application would be a quadratic equation. In the quadratic function, I could include more variables, such as caffiene and other stimulants. In this manner a quadratic function would probably be better than a linear one.

gratzi!
sara

A Soft Conversion (long... but read anyway)

The door bell rang. She scrunched up her face in a scowl but went to answer it anyway. At least the tv show was on a commercial. Without bothering to glance out the window, she opened the door and let it swing in, knocking softly against the wall. Aidan stood smiling stiffly, hands in pockets, straight backed, and rigid as though he was bracing for something. “Hey Kara.” She smiled slightly and pushed the screen door open.

“Aidan.” He grabbed the black metal of the door and prepared to step inside. Kara shook her head. “My parents aren’t home. We can go for a walk if you want. But you can’t come inside.”

“Sure,” he said holding the door open for her so she could step down onto the small patio. “Let’s go for a walk.” The rounded the corner at the end of the street and headed down a small hill to the neighborhood park.

“So,” she asked, as they passed through the shade of a tall oak, “why’d you come?”

“I heard about your parents.” She laughed slightly and shook her head with a roll of her eyes.

“You don’t have to worry about me so much Aidan. I’m going to be just fine.”

“I don’t believe you.” He said it so simply that Kara had to stop and look at him. His eyes were gray and soft, running off to far away places. There was forever in his eyes and worlds beyond the turmoil she found herself in now. Peace and gentleness, an eternal stillness that reached out to her.

“Of course you don’t believe me, no one ever does,” she said with a sardonic smile. Turning away from him she went on walking. “But really, I’ll be just fine in a little while. I just need some time.” She turned back to where he still stood just beyond the protective shadow of the oak, “You worry too much Aidan. I just need to sort some things out,” Kara smiled again, trying to be encouraging. “I promise Aidan, I’ll be okay.” He sighed but stretched his legs out into long strides to catch up with her.
They walked in silence for a long time. Finally Aidan slowed to a stop in the shade of the wall surrounding the tennis courts. He stared at the ground for a while as he began, afraid to look up for the expression on her face.

“You play a pretty convincing role. You’re a good actress. You act like you don’t need anyone. But I see through it, Kara. I see through all the lies and the masks,” he looked up and caught her eyes, “you’re hurting. You’re hurting really bad too. I have something to tell you, but before I start, I want you to know I care about you.”

“You going to tell me what’s wrong with me?”

“Something like that,” he said with a playful smile that she hadn’t expected. Kara leaned back on her right leg and waited. He started slowly, weaving a tale of a garden. Beautiful and luscious, beyond anything that she could ever imagine. But something went drastically wrong in the garden and the keepers were thrown out to make a way for themselves in the world. Years passed, they died, their children died, generations flew by and the world grew wicked. They parted ways with the perfect beauty of the old garden. A great flood was sent to wipe the earth clean and only one man and his family survived, along with enough animals to repopulate the world. Kara listened in silence, much to Aidan’s surprise.

Again the evil crept back into the world. God chose one man to make a special promis to. His descendants would be blessed if only they would follow the laws of the one who had given them this promise. Several times the people had to be brought back to their righteous ways, often by drastic measures. A savior was promised, one who would wipe away all the evil that seemed so inherent in men. He would provide access to God if only one would accept his gift of love and sacrifice. “He provides peace to, and is a friend like no other. His love is unconditional,” he spread his arms out, “and it is as wide as the ocean. He can heal any hurt, Kara. Even your heart can be made new again.” Kara looked doubtful, with her arms folded across her chest. “He offers eternal life and joy. You only have to say yes.”

“You offer me eternity, but why should I believe you?” her hands exploded into the air as she threw her arms up in frustration, “don’t you see? Nothing is eternal! My parents are divorcing! They had a great marriage and it is over now. Look!” she pointed behind him towards the setting sun ablaze in orange and yellow, “the sun is going down! Not even time is eternal! It goes on and on, but it ends. The day is over, night is starting! See, Aidan? You offer me eternity but why should I buy that?” Her arms lowered to her sides. Aidan’s eyes were bright. He caught her hands in his.

“Don’t you see? That was not how it was intended to be! But we became imperfect and live in a cursed world. Come on Kara! You are offered eternity and love, love beyond reason!”

“I can see it in your eyes,” she said slowly, turning to watch the toe of her sandal trace circles in the dirt. She wanted to look anywhere but at his eyes.

“See what?” he asked, dropping her hands in muted astonishment.

“I see forever stretching out beyond time. Does that make sense? I see what you are talking about. You have this obvious hope and belief in something that goes far past us, you believe in eternity. But there is so much in this world, so much that is ending and beginning all at the same time,” she sighed, “so much turmoil and uncertainty. Belief in forever, it seems so impossible.”

“Nothing is impossible with God.”

“So you say.”

“The fact that we are even having this conversation, that is proof enough for me.” Kara looked up and met Aidan’s hopeful eyes. Forever lay beyond the gray mists of time, she could see it stretch wide and far. But the next day was full of it’s own worries, how could she even think to consider eternity? A concept she could not even begin to grasp. “Come on Kara,” he said softly. “What do you say?”

“Unconditional love?” she asked slowly.

“And everlasting peace.”

“I’ll start with the love. And we’ll have to deal with eternity in a few days. I can’t quite grasp it somehow.”

“Neither can I.”

“So, it’s really unconditional?” She asked one more time, as she turned to walk again. He walked beside her and sighed happily.

“Pretty hard to believe huh?” He stopped suddenly and grinned widely.

“What?” she asked suspiciously. Instead of answering, he caught her around the waist
and swung her around in a circle. Her legs flew out behind her as she held on to his shoulders with wide eyed surprise.

“I’m so happy Kara! I’m so happy you said yes!” he cried out loudly and then put her down. “I could dance and jump up and down and scream and laugh and cry, I’m so happy.” She took his hands in hers and pulled him along the sidewalk laughing hard as tears streamed down her face.

“I know Aidan!” she said between gusts of laughter, “I feel the same way! Come on, let’s run as fast as we can!” He laughed and sprinted after her.

Yatahay,
Sara

Blaming God

Okay, so blame is a bad word. It has a negative conotation. But there have been a couple of websites that have posted on this theme lately. They said we shouldn't blame God for what goes on in our lives.

Which I don't understand.

God is omnipotent, and soveriegn over all. So, if he is soveriegn and controls everything, how can we not hold him responsible for what goes on in our lifves? I agree that we have free will and there are consequences to our actions, but at the same time, those consequences are controlled by God, aren't they?

So why can't we hold him respnsible for what happens in our lives? If he isn't responsible, and only we are, then why not throw of his mantle of soveriegnty--because if we have control over our lives, then he really isn't omnipotent, and we have no need of him....

if he isn't 'to blame' then how is he soveriegn? How is he omnipotent and omnicient?

Wot maber,
Sara

Prom Picture

seniors at alternative prom! Aren't we amazing?! Ryan looks kind of weird and so does Opie. But we still all look really cool!

Ungrateful

I have been ungrateful to several people. I was going through my old blog and copying all the posts into a word document, along with the comments that everyone made. I realized that I had been pretty thankless towards certain people, and maybe even heartless in forgetting what they have said in their kindness, when having a fight later on.

So there are some people that I want to thank--I thought of doing it in person, but then decided that these people deserve public praise, because that is something we don't often do for others, I wanted to do it in a public place so that they would get all that they deserve.

Sarah John-
I love you so much. You have been an encouragement to me always. When ever I am feeling down on myself, you are always there to remind me that I am loved and people care about me. You have been a consistent willing shoulder for me to cry on. Do you remember telling me that you would have ice for me when I was willing to be comforted? You are so sweet and kind, and loving. Anyone who doesn't like you, obviously doesn't know you, and if they know you and still don't like you, it is only because they are jealous of you. Because they see in you traits that they wish they had themselves.

Ryan Farrell-
We have had our differences, but you are still one of the most amazing people I know. You are an inspiration in your walk with Christ, and you have often helped me to realize that when I am struggling with things it is only because I have not handed them over to the Lord. Kelli is very lucky to have you, you are really sweet and caring. Except when you are mad. Then you can be cutting with your words, but even then there is always a good heart behind them, one that seeks correction for those you are speaking with and a heart of loving rebuking. Does that make sense? Words don't always come out the best, but I know you are always just trying to show me the right way.

Lanorea-
You amaze me. always praying for everything. I wish you had found my new blog and continued to comment, I miss hearing from you. YOu were a light in the dark with sweet encouraging words, and loving advice.

I love you all.


Trok lom,
Sara

OH MY GOSH GUESS WHAT????!

THE COSTA RICA TRIP HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN APPROVED! BY ZMAN AND SHORT TERM MISSIONS!

WE ARE GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so assuming that we are leaving December 26, that gives us (in my bad math) 174 days until we leave!

I AM SO EXCITED!

I'm BAAAACK!

From the black hills of SOUTH DAKOTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no one ever go there. EVER. It was beautiful and all, and Mount Rushmore was pretty cool. I guess I am just too much of a city girl. South Dakota does not have cities. I can hardly even think to count Rapid City as a full blown city. This is not to be mean to anyone who lives in South Dakota, I know, you might like the country and the endless grass and hills.... I just don't.

I saw a lot of Amish people there. I'm not sure why, I saw this big 15 passenger van of Amish people, which I don't understand. Amish can't drive. They don't own cars. Anyway, that was just very confusing for me. I mean, seriously.

I have nothing important to say. I am sooo sure that you all missed me and my incredibly insightful updates. HA! I think not...

I just wanted to try this and see if it works. If it does, and it looks okay, that means, I won't have to always ask sarah for help when posting pictures!!

anyway this is an old crappy picture that I don't like at all, so that is why I don't care taht it is going up. I can not stand my braces and how my teeth are weird... I can't stand any pictures with my braces since I got them off. lol