11.7.05

Hm

I had a very odd experience last night.

I told God I don't want a boyfriend. No, not that I am doing fine without one and that I am willing to wait for whoever he has in mind for me. Not that at all. I told him that I do not want a boyfriend.

And even more odd, I feel the same way today. So I don't think it was an accident.

Finally, I am feeling totally complete without a guy in my life. I am feeling quite content with life as it is, you know, just being friends with the guys and nothing more. Everything is fine. Like my eyes have been opened in this weird way, and I see the world around me. I mean, I saw it before, but now I see it with just me and God, and there is no empty space that needs to be filled. There isn't this shadow next to me, that is the outline of a man who isn't standing there.

Obviously, if I have an opportunity for a relationship I am not going to completely turn away from it. But it is really going to take a lot of prayer. I mean it already would have, but now, it would be even more so.

1 comment:

nathan said...

most excellent.