2.8.05

Today is the Virgin's day

in Costa Rica. They don't have school or work or anything. This is the day when people from all over the country walk to Cartago to the Basilica. The Basilica is the biggest church in Costa Rica, really big. I've been there. And then outside, is this fountain sort of thing, that has 'holy water.' I saw a man fill a big jug with that water.

It's so sad. Mark Edwards walked with people there one time. He went up to all sorts of the ticos and tried to tell them about God's love. About how this walk means nothing, all they need is Jesus. Ernesto told me that Mark almost started crying, he was in so much pain for the ticos.

The world is so lost. I feel so incredibly helpless to do anything. Like I can't help anyone. I feel so stuck in this little cocoon that I am in. No one listens to me very seriously. No one really respects my ideas because I am too old fashioned. And of course, I know nothing of boys considering my singleness.

I don't know. I want something to do. I want to help the world, but I feel so trapped. I feel like no one wants my help. I can listen to poeple all day long, and I know that is what they want, but it doesn't seem like enough.

I feel useless.

3 comments:

Sara without an H said...

Oh, about the guys thing. It wasn't that I was despairing over my lack of a love life or something. It was more along the lines of, none of my friends think I have valid views on that subject, becasue my last relationship was a while ago, and fairly shortlived.

and I don't even know what little I can solve. Sometimes I feel like, even if I wasn't here, the world would go on in just the same way. Like I haven't made an impact on anything.

but thanks, Chase. that was pretty encouragig.

NicaGirl said...

I know it's so easy to feel like we don't have an impact on anything that happens but the truth is, we probably do more than we know, we just may not know it this side of heaven. With as much as you love the people of Costa Rica, you've probably affected someone there more than you know. I feel the same way, though, especially when I go to Nicaragua and there is just so much need and so many people who need help that it seems like what I am doing is just a drop in the bucket. But if I can make a difference in even just one kid's life, that's one kid who might not have otherwise been helped

Sara without an H said...

thanks.