Voice in the Wind

I am reading this book called a Voice in the Wind. It's about early Christians in Rome (or the Roman empire to be more general). It takes like the lives of four people and just intertwines their stories and such. One is a slave girl named Hadassah. She is a Jewish Christian, and her father was the widow's son that Jesus raised from the dead. Which if you ask me, that would be pretty much awesome to be like, "hey, let me introduce you to my dad. Yea, he got brought back to life when he was like 14. MY DAD IS COOLER THAN YOURS!" you know, something along those lines.


So, really to get to my point. Hadassah always feels like she is a very horrible Christian and has weak faith. But one time, she is leaving for Ephesus and walking on the docks of Rome, she remembers walking with her father on the shores of Galilee one time.

Hadassah glanced at the sailors working around her and remembered her father's words. "Peter was such as these. And James and John....They were sometimes profane and often full of pride." God chose men like these...Jesus hadn't chosen men the world would have chosen. He had picked ordinary men, with obvious faults and made them into something extraordinary through the indwelling of his Holy Spirit.

Lately I have been trying to be perfect. Happy all the time, Kind and loving to everyone. My dad said I am too impatient. That when the Bible says Christ will perfect us in time, I ignore the last two words and demand perfection now. Don't get me wrong, it's not so much for people looking at me saying, wow, sara is just an amazing person, she is sooo perfect! I want to be perfect to shine for God. Since we live in a screwed up world, wouldn't it be great to be perfect? To just love everyone and be kind all the time? How much better could you shine for Christ?

But it's impossible. Which is not to doubt God's ability to perfect even the worst human being into a saint. But that also doesn't happen exactly overnight. I read that passage in the book and just thought to myself, oh my gosh! it's so perfectly true! Have you ever heard the expression, "he has language that would make a sailor blush!" Well, these men weren't sailors necessarily, but they led dirty lives. They were not perfect in any shape or form, and Christ chose them. Because Christ comes for those who are sick, not the healthy. They sure as heck were not the disciples that the Jews would have chosen for their long awaited Messiah. They'd have chosen someone like Caiphus--the high priest who helped instigate the murder of Christ.

He chose the imperfect and made them perfect. But even after three years, they still had a long ways to go. And they walked with Jesus. Peter denied Christ, and he walked with him. How can I expect to be perfectly molded into the image of Christ after four years. It took one of the greatest apostles longer than that practically.

So I have not given up on being perfect. Because through God's eyes, I am perfected in Christ. I am a saint who sometimes sins. But I am praying to eradicate things like anger and frustration, rather I am asking God to replace it with unceasing love and patience. Which is the funny thing, I am asking to have patience, and often asking for it with a demand that it comes in tomorrow.

I am not perfected entirely. So if sometime I treat you as less than I should, don't take too much offense. I do love you. But I need time. I need lots of time to let God work in me and complete what he has started.

Shalom,
Sara