...

I have nothing to talk about. But I am really bored...

No one is online, which is sad, because I have no one to talk to now. But oh well. It's not as though anyone really talks about anything online anyway.

Which I have been thinking about lately. I am reading That Hideous Strength by CS Lewis. It is interesting in the beginning. Well, actually it is fairly dull and tense. Jane and Mark are just going about their normal business, though there are some weird quirks. Like Jane having visions that are kind of about the future. And Mark starting a new job at an odd institution. But all the conversations. They are so veiled, and vague. No one talks about anything important, they are all very formal, and they never really discuss anything specific or deep.

At first I thought, who really talks like that? And then I had to spend three hours with a cousin I have not seen in 10 years. Our discussion was vague and veiled. Understandable, I suppose. We don't ever see each other, and there's a little matter of a family feud, that I think is finally being put behind us. But it just got me thinking. How often at church do I ask people what they did that week, and I don't really car? How often do I forget their names because I only want to talk with them until Sarah or Austin shows up and I have someone I feel comfortable with that I can talk to? Because there are Sundays, I come into church and there aren't any seniors. So I go and talk with a few juniors or sophomores and pretend to care, while passing the time and waiting for one of my 'crowd' to get there.

I hate this. We in the church are supposed to be brothers and sisters who care for each other like our own flesh and blood. But so often we are so wrapped up in ourselves, we just forget about everyone else. I think that this is true for everyone, and I am not trying to condem, because I know well enough that I did it just yesterday.

I just wish that we had enough love in our hearts, that we would love one another and actually care. That our conversations would be deep and meaningful, that we would be encouraging, though rebuking where it is needed--in a manner of love. I just want us to care about each other. I want us to be concerned when someone is gone for a few weeks. I want us to love each other in the way that Jesus commanded us.

I don't know. Maybe it is wishful thinking. But no! It can't be. Jesus told us to lvoe each other, and that starts with our conversations! I am determined to believe that it is not just a useless dream! I have given up on too many things in that way! I am not giving up on this! We should love each other in a way that makes a shine to the outside world. You want your friends to go to heaven and not hell? Then love your brothers and sisters!

Wlibamkanni,
sara

ps, do you hear me Nathan? I am not giving up on this!

ps, Minor. Salió muy rapido esta noche. No puedo decirte, leí su cuento, y quiero mas. Estoy convenciendo que es un cuento de Ud, o de su mente. Quiero más!