It all started out with me planning on going to rugby practice. So I called Sara to make sure she was picking me up and she said yes, but she was going to go to Starbucks for a while and do homework. Well, I thought that is fine, I can get some stuff done and change there and then we can go to practice, maybe a little late. But better late than never huh?
Well, I misunderstood Sara, because apparently she was never going to practice and she was just going to spend that time at Starbucks doing homework. So I was like, okay. My mom will not get home until after practice has started, and then by the time I get down there well, I will probably only be at practice for like an hour.
Besides, I was kinda pissed at Brei, and my ankle hurts, so I figured these are very good reasons not to go. Well we made everything up and got the story down. Why do I smell like coffee? Because we stopped and got a drink on the way home and Sara had to change because she was going somewhere... and bla bla bla....
But I was feeling so guilty the whole time. The more I thought about this, the more I realized that my guilt was the Holy Spirit screaming at me not to do this. Or at least to tell my mom when I got home what had happened. I toyed with the idea. But decided I was too ashamed and too tired of lectures about why didn't you call me, to bother telling my mom. But I feel so awful. I know this is totally not God honouring, what I am doing is completely wrong. So I thought I would admit it to my dad when he gets home tomorrow. I don't know. I just don't know what to do.
I'm trying so hard to be good, and not to swear and to do what God wants, and to respect my mom. Which is very hard for me. I mean, I respect her and all but I have been realizing lately that I have a problem with authority. Matt Gibson told me that last night at church. Matt Gibson, who I have talked to like twice, and he asked if I have problems with authority.
So anyway, I am struggling against the carnal nature. And guess who's winning? Not the good guys. Please pray for me. I feel so horrible. But I just can't talk to my mom. She'll be so dissapointed and upset with me.
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10 comments:
i am still praying for you. you will be fine.
matt gibson did something like that to me once too. ive hardly ever talked to him and he came up to me and said:
dude you used to be so cool but now your just being a jerk
yeah that was about it
just be honest with your mom. if shes anything like i think she is, she will be happy that you told her anyways... no worries. be happy
Opie and i were playing in a foosball tournement at church just having some fun and it was the final game between opie+me and matt+dan. so opie and i were having fun and talking some smak then matt said 'don't be rude'- the fun stopped
i guess he's a hardcore foosball player, was taking it really seriously and attends in alot of tounaments.
matt gibson is funny. but yea, i think he can be really serious about things. it was just weird being asked if i have problems with authority... after definitely saying hi to him like twice before and never having a real conversation...
i don't want to sound weird, but that is way cool. i wish i could nail down stuff like that. i always just assume people have no problems.
if thats the worst thing youve done then I'm definatey going straight to hell!
no it's not the worst thing. definitely not. i just always feel reeeeeeally bad lying to my parents. and no joke, they have this uncanny way of ALWAYS FINDING OUT.
the mother says it's in the mom book which apparently must come standard in the delivery room, along with ice chips.
Hey, call me when you want me to bring the shirt over.
i called! your voice cracked! we laughed!
end of story!
Because I'm sick.
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